My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
