New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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