STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
