he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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