She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
