Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
