dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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