Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
