yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
