Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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