Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
