He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
