Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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