Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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