life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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