Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
not ubering you a puppy
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
