why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
