Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
