Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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