My liver just broke up with me...
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
