you would pick up someone in the library
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
