yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
