you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
