We're facebook friends in real life
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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