what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
She's the barista slut.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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