..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Vodka?
Forever.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
