who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
