I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
