he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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