Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
