he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
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It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
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We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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