I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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