Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
