That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
