This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Randomize
