Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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