Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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