The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
