Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
