I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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