hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize