Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize