I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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