Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize