...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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