After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
