so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
