I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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