if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
