My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
