hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
