if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
