i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
