i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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