I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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