Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
