i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
