If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
