I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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