i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
