my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
i need some magic done to my vagina
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
