Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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