question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
