Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
