it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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