I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
