I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
