I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
