I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
